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Kelly Terranova

Kelly Terranova

For a man who bills himself as "The World's Only Vegetarian NASCAR Fan", this comedian seems to have energy that you would think could only come from animal protein. When Kelly Terranova takes the stage, as he has done in more than 500 venues nationwide, audiences are taken on an energetic and slightly cynical look at America's pop culture icons...from our fascination with figure skating to NASCAR racing to riverboat gambling. 

A former radio talk show host, Terranova's material is often culled from the day's headlines...there's no time for this "routine" to get routine. Terranova is known as a skilled comedian who features playful audience interaction, making each show unique.

Kelly is featured on CMT’s hilarious program, CMT’s Comedy Stage. He was a finalist in both the Funny Bone Comedy Club's World Series of Comedy and Carnival Cruise Line's Las Vegas Comedy Challenge. Kelly has appeared with Michael Bolton, The Doobie Brothers, Jim Breuer, Brett Butler and Tim Wilson.

Terranova resides in Annapolis, MD, along with his saintly wife and four (count ‘em!) four children.

 

“You’re a comedian! That’s exciting. You know, I’ve always wondered...”

Happens all the time. On airplanes, in doctor’s offices, and aboard cruise ships (where I have performed for huge chunks of the last four years).

Do I sometimes bring it up “nonchalantly-on-purpose”? Sure. I’m only human.

Many, many people seem to be interested in the notion of “being” a professional comedian. Not the performance so much (beyond, “Don’t you get nervous?”), but inquiring about the practice of all the processes that go into winding up onstage at the end of most every day. And when it's “Cruise Ship” Comedian...even more so.

Sometimes it’s fun to answer those questions, and I often do. Sometimes, I just want to get back to a podcast that I’m listening to. In those cases, when my airplane seatmate asks, “So what do YOU do?”, responding "IRS Auditor” usually drops a quick curtain on the conversation.

In truth, like most people, I like to “talk” about myself. (I put talk in quotes (“talk”) because it’s really that I’d rather “tell” or “write” about myself than actually speak to humans one-on-one or in small groups. But that’s an issue for another day...or therapy).

Given that circumstance, and my long held, oft-procrastinated, goal of blogging on a semi regular basis, it seems that a situation where readers of this blog (are there any?) can ask questions about the life of a cruise ship comedian; and I, a cruise ship comedian, will attempt to answer them in as honest, humorous and engaging way as I’m able.

Sometimes the answers may be short. “Do you live on the ship??”

Others may be more involved. “Do you enjoy living on the ship?”

But, I’ll try to knock out several a week, have some fun and maybe build some traffic on the site.

So the world is yours, ask away. I’ll answer anything as it pertains to being a comedian in general and a cruise ship comedian in particular. Well...almost. I’m not an idiot, contrary to the opinions of more than one in-law.

There probably are a few questions that I won’t answer (or I’ll just lie about). Like, “How much money do you make?” (Actually, you’d likely be surprised by how often I am actually asked that in person.) I usually just say, “Not as much as American Express would like”. But for the blog, I’d probably try to be more imaginative, answering, “More than I made when I was a paperboy, but less than I did at Goldman-Sachs”. You still don’t have an answer, but that’s OK because it’s really none of your business and now you are fondly remembering that bygone time when paperboys were ambitious kids instead of well...let’s just say “adults with cars that have trouble passing inspection”.

I’m telling you right now, I’m not going to flat out, beat up on my primary benefactor, Fiesta Cruise Lines. They are good to me and I’ll return the courtesy. That said, it’s not always wine and roses and you’ll get the flavor of that too.

So ask away! I’m about the easiest person to get in touch with. If you found this post, then you already have at least two or three ways to get a question to me. Get busy and use one. If the entries are slow in coming in, I might prime the pump and make up the first question or two. I won’t be the first one to make up fake cruise ship questions online…

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Yeah! It's been a while, but I had to learn a lot of new words to express myself. Exciting  and humorous musings on the way. #FakeNews #Sad #FailingComedian

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So, why a blog? Ah, the not-at-all eternal question.

When deciding to revamp my website for the 4th time (yes this is my 4.0 update...go in the Wayback Machine some time to version 1.0, 2.0 and most recently 3.0 ...ugh), I knew that it needed to be, let’s say, a little more dynamic. Not just a book report of a site, but something that changes...new information, aka “content”, that appears regularly (aye, there’s the rub) to DRIVE traffic to my site. (that's a lot of SEO type stuff in there...pay no mind, please keep reading.)